Kein Engel

Lots of things are ough to be done. Don't have time to breathe anymore.
Altough it seems like my grades won't give up on me, after all.
All love goes to my friends, you know who you are.

My new wear-band, Johnossi.

Confusion. At least a little confusion. Feelings here, and feelings there. Gah
Just watched "16 and pregnant" and started to think that in that way it's much better to have a long-distance relationship. Though I miss my soulmate so much that it hurts sometimes. Can't really call it 'missing him', rather 'longing for him' since we haven't met. But we've talked for like 3 years or so, on and off I'd say, so I guess we've created some kind of bond between us. Anyhow! Lets leave that and maybe come back to it later.

As I was watching "16 and pregnant" I saw the relationship the teenage mum had with her little brother. They were playing Guitar Hero, and I teared up 'cus I use to have that and do that sort of things with my younger brother. Like yesterday, before his friend came over, he and I were playing soccer together and had a ball like we used to do a couple of years ago. When his friend arrived he just treated me like shit or whatever, like he always does. And I know that teenagers in that age are like that, but it makes me sad. We've lost that connection. And I love my brother to death. Just wish that we could work it out somehow. That he could change his attitude.

Tomorrow I have to get up early again. I have a test. The final exam in TSP, to be exact. Hope it goes well, otherwise I won't get the mark I want, of course! The only thing I'm looking forward 'til this Monday is the German class. I love German. Think I'll get the highest mark in that subject, which will be the only high mark I'll get this year. Haha. I sound so depressed. I want to dig into my deep-thinking-mood/state again. And get rid of the jealousness.

...yeah.
I think that's all for this update,
as a finale I'm going to post a great song from a great band which I adore ♥
Peace out, friends and enemies.

Coldplay - Crests of Waves

Reunited with four loves tonight.
Makes me happier.
Makes me sentimental.

Also, I found a new musician, Ane Brun
Fantastic cover.

Yesterday I watched a documentary about the fantastic Melody Gardot. I've listen to her before, but got tired of her voice and the whole "jazz-thing". I don't like jazz. And it takes a lot to make me listen, like and keep on listening to a female voice. But this woman really changed my dull perspective on my own sex's vocals, aswell as jazz. Her story touched me, her mind, words, and style. When I look at her I realize how much my long hair ment to me, now I want it back even more! She's got this romantic aura surrounding her, at the same time it's like a dark cloud is following her everywhere she goes. "An old soul", is what she called herself in the film. I think that of myself too, sometimes.
I miss those times when I could pick the most sensitive and powerful words out of the blue, and put them in a bunch of poems.
When my mind is in a state between depression and happiness, that's where I belong. When you feel nor less, nor more. When it can go both ways.
I look at my violin and wish that I had never quit playing.

This one's for you, and all lost souls out there.
If you're going downhill, this will take you higher - but not too high.
If you're on a piedestal, this will cut it down - but not too low.