#15
I've been thinking a lot lately. Not only about the whole au pair-thing, but also about you.
Things will be different when you come here. But then, when will you come? Am I supposed to be waiting for you, keep on living with the pause button stuck until you finally arrive and push the play button for me? I'm tired of waiting. I've been waiting all my life now, longing for two years to be with you. I'm starting to question this. When you finally arrive, will you then stay forever or will you go back home? Won't home for you be where I am, as home for me is where you are? All the things we've said to each other, what have been and what is still to come, will it disappear or grow stronger? Are we going to feel further on, what we've felt for so long now? One part of me is telling me to keep on waiting and hoping, the other part of me says I'm stupid for holding on to a dreamworld and that I should realize that I have to push the play button myself. I honestly don't know which part I should trust. I don't know anything really. Not anymore, not ever with you, nor without you.
#14
Yes, yes, and yes. An update! A very special one!
Last evening I decided to sign up for Aupair World. I created my own profile and wrote a bit about myself - and all of a sudden I had four new emails!! All from GERMAN families only! (If you haven't followed my plans before, I've had the image that Scotland would be my Au pair country.) So this was a surprize! A good one, of course!! Right now I've got seven messages from different German families. I have replied to some of them and turned one family down, which didn't fit me. This is so exciting!!! It's all happening so fast I almost don't know what to do. I am currently working on a longer Dear Family-letter. Which I can send to families who want to know more about me, and see more pictures. Gaaah. Gotta check my email now, I wrote to a family which lives nearby a place I know quite well and I really want them to answer cus they seemed like a lovely family all in all.
Last evening I decided to sign up for Aupair World. I created my own profile and wrote a bit about myself - and all of a sudden I had four new emails!! All from GERMAN families only! (If you haven't followed my plans before, I've had the image that Scotland would be my Au pair country.) So this was a surprize! A good one, of course!! Right now I've got seven messages from different German families. I have replied to some of them and turned one family down, which didn't fit me. This is so exciting!!! It's all happening so fast I almost don't know what to do. I am currently working on a longer Dear Family-letter. Which I can send to families who want to know more about me, and see more pictures. Gaaah. Gotta check my email now, I wrote to a family which lives nearby a place I know quite well and I really want them to answer cus they seemed like a lovely family all in all.
To be continued...
